That’s right! There are no snakes in Ireland. Never encountered lizards of any variety, either personally or in conversation. Had to explain to this one colleen what a gecko was. Missed newt in a crossword myself, it’s been so long since one’s crossed even my mind.
Now, in fairness, be warned: my assertation above is not strictly, genocidally, the truth. I understand that there are a few snakes in Dublin Zoo. Never been there, myself, to Dublin Zoo. This one fella said that there are, though, and by his description I have no reason to doubt him. The snakes are in this underground display, just lying there sad behind really thick glass. In this one description I heard once.
I asked this one native Irish girl if it was true that those zoo snakes were the only snakes over here. She got cross with me, saying "St. Patrick drove all the snakes out of Ireland 1500 years ago! You didn’t know that?" Well, everyone knows that. Even if it’s maybe not strictly factual (a point which scientists can never prove), St. Patrick’s great snake roundup is just as valid a fable as those Greek stories, about how Man Has Fire Nowadays, or Olive Trees Are Good, or People Have Horses. It’s a statement of fact so share whatever origin of it makes ye giggle.
At the end of the day: even people who have a paralysing fear of snakes can come to Ireland with complete peace of mind, in complete safety. Even if it’s a possibility that there are a few snakes here- and, remember, it’s just hearsay that there are- they are caged away behind really thick glass, laying there all sad and immobile. Take a very well-deserved holiday away from your crippling phobia, as well as from your dull everyday surroundings. Come breathe free in beautiful Ireland.
Guide Index Red words? Check the Dub Glossary!