OK, I’ll be honest: the cuisine in Ireland bites it. France? Good food. Italy? Good food. Germany? Love the Sauerbraten, baby, bring it on! Eurogrub’s the reason why Ireland joined the European Union, actually. We’re attempting to reverse 700 years of culinary influence from people who consider Toad in the Hole the pinnacle of gastromonical magnificence.
In fairness, allow me to admit that England contributed fish and chips to the Irish diet. If not for chippers and their delicious fare, I would be a significantly less content and slightly less fat DFA. But smoked cod and onion rings are not the topic of this short essay: it concerns the one meal of the day when the Irish prove undisputed world mastery.
BREAKFAST!
Ensure that your travel plans include at least one night in a Bed and Breakfast. There are hundreds of B&B’s out there that provide a warm room for under £20 per person, and throw in a king-sized Full Irish Breakfast the next morning. These breakfasts will knock yer socks off. They typically include cereal with milk or yoghurt, two rashers, two sausages, two white puddings, two black puddings, a couple of eggs, hash browned potatoes, toast with marmalade and butter, juice, and coffee. This may sound like a mountain of food, but it’s more than that. It’s the cure for a hangover.
The quality of the breakfast items surpasses that achieved by any other country. Irish bacon, as an example, is so incomparably more meaty a dish that it is not even called "bacon." It’s a rasher, and it’s three times the size and twice the thickness any Oscar Meyer impostor. Just imagine Canadian Bacon gone to heaven.
Sausages, too, are a delight. Most butchers or supermarkets make their own. Even the store-bought ones from Galteeor Denny’staste very fresh and wholesome. I’ve had some Italian and Polish sausages that were pretty good for dinners. Nothing in the world, though, can compare to sizzling Irish breakfast sausages.
Two special kinds of sausage are called black puddingand white pudding. Black pudding is blood sausage and, while quite tasty, is just too unsettling a concept to be devoured on a regular basis. White puddings are better. Instead of gore, they’re made of sausage meat with herbs and spices. Most white puddings are tender enough to spread on toast, just like jam.
Toast is not complete without juice and coffee. People over here are mad about orange juice. I’ve drank more of the stuff since moving here than I ever did living in Florida. And coffee, and tea? Downed by the gallon. Be prepared to guzzle. First thing any host does is offer their guests a cuppa.
To conclude, consider the humble egg. Tasting identical to eggs from anywhere, the Irish difference can be found on the outside. All the chickens over here lay brown eggs. How, I do not know. Why, nobody cares. The absence of white shells is just one of those trivial idiosyncratic details that distinguish any stay in Ireland from the rest of a visitor’s humdrum life.
Some lunchtime, try an All Day Breakfast Roll. They’re available from most any deli or sandwich counter. It’s everything preceding, stuffed (hopefully with some brown sauce) into a Cuisine de France baguette. Why anyone pays the same £2 price for a paltry, lukewarm McLimp Burger is beyond me.
That’s about all the praise I can express regarding the Full Irish Breakfasts. Anyone familiar with clichés knows where to find the proof of the pudding.
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