Critical Mick

Reviews Free of Rules.

Reviews by the Clown that All Other Critics Want to Strangle with a Black Turtleneck

Tale Spinner

Fourtold author Michael Stone on the construction of his first book, the importance of online communities, his fantasies of a Honda Fireblade, and that red-skinned guy with the horns and cloven hooves. An unruly email interview (and exchange of reading recommendations!) April 2008.

Critical Mick: You've mooned someone to ward off the Devil, right?

Michael Stone: I have it on good authority that that works. Hence the buttocks carved around the doorways of very old church buildings. Anyway, I don't need to ward the Devil off. Jesus wants me for a little sunbeam and Beelzebub knows it.

Critical Mick's review of Michael Stone's Fourtold

CM: Hat's off #1: The second tale in your collection Fourtold presents a Hell that is not only amusing but also interesting. I'm not just talking the medieval metaphysics about Satan lacking the Godly power to create buttocks. It's a Hell worth thinking over and discussing. MS: The thing I find most interesting about Heaven and Hell as a concept is how it has become watered down by the clergy. After all, no one relishes the idea that all non-believers will go to a place of fire and brimstone and have their figgins toasted for all eternity -- any right-minded individual can see that this is a bit OTT as punishments go. Likewise folks are starting to think Heaven, where its all love, light and peace, will actually be rather boring. Won't there be any Bruce Willis films up there? Or, y'know, shagging? It's a bit like politics where the Left and Right are gravitating towards the Centre because the leaders know that's where the votes are. Extremism is unfashionable. CM: Hat's off #2: The final story, "Lemon Man," sent me off fact-checking. Your details on thrones, powers, seraphs and other castes of angels are Biblically accurate. Have you an interest in spiritual/religious matters, or did you just Wikipedia them up?

MS: I've known for a long time that the angels with fluffy wings and tinkling harps are artists' fabrications, and that the real creatures are bloody monstrous. (Did I just say real?) But I wouldn't say I had a particular interest in such things. I'm not so much a scholarly person as a trivia nut. For "Lemon Man" I did a little research on religious websites. They're great places for inspiration. You couldn't make some of that stuff up, could you?

CM: First Gerard F. Bianco and then Paolo Coelho. Swiftly followed by R. Scott Taylor. Gerard Brennan, and now yourself. What's with the never-ending stream of Devil stories?

MS: I wanted to satirise the cosmetic surgery industry and having a fruity, red-skinned bloke with a big knob masterminding it all seemed the way to go. The diabolical setting was an essential part of the plot.

CM: You've recently been given "the big ups" by young Gerard Brennan. (NOTE: Brennan is NOT the devil.)

MS: Jesus wants him for a little sunbeam, too. And you, Mick.

CM: What job did you do for 23 years?

MS: I was a mouldmaker for an earthenware manufacturer. The job required skill, I suppose, but the skill lay in the hands. Some days, when I was in the groove, I enjoyed it because while my hands were busy spinning my potter's wheel my mind was free to spin stories. I'd be hopeless in an office environment. My concentration is woeful.

CM: So you weren't a travelling medicine show man, like in Fourtold's first story, "San Ferry Ann"?

MS: I once fetched some worming tablets from the vet's and caught a bus home, does that count?

CM: Not a fire-breathing circus performer?

MS: I can't see it attracting girls. They prefer minty breath to paraffin fumes.

CM: "San Ferry Ann" is more literary / historical fiction, Belgium circa 1919, than it is fantasy. The third tale, "The Terracotta Warrior," is set in the 1920's. Is that era an area of interest?

MS con't: At the same time as this was happening, "Lemon Man" was edging closer and closer to acceptance for an anthology called Tattered Souls. The editors narrowed their choice down to 7 stories. They wanted 6. "Lemon Man" was the fallout guy. It was such a close call I knew the story had merit. "San Ferry Ann" had a similar fate elsewhere, and as you've pointed out, it's as much literary / historical fiction as fantasy and the market for fiction of that type and of that length is miniscule. I'd just written "The Terracotta Warrior" too, and frankly, I was at a loss what to do with it.

MS con't: The moment I looked at Steve's cover…well, it was bloody obvious. Four mouths, four stories. The publisher liked the idea and Fourtold was born. It's probably the first time a cover has influenced the TOC to such a degree!

CM: A motorcycle is central to two of the tales in Fourtold. And your collection has both Hell and Angels. You've also written a Harley of a tale called "Japanese Motorcycle Clob" (which I absolutely love!) Are you a biker?

MS: Was. Bikes were a way of life for seventeen years, right up until my 34th birthday when I had to sell them due to failing eyesight. I'm still mad keen on them and fantasize about riding the latest Triumph Rocket or Honda Fireblade.

CM: Segueing neatly into short fiction--- I first came across "Clob" when you were submitting your work to NFG Magazine. "Clob," "Clob 2," stories about loops becoming a noose. A sit-com starring zombies (a sit-zom?) and one about that snake that circles the earth, biting its own ass. Please tell me that these mad, wonderful tales found a home! Where can the good readership meet Clob and his friends?

MS: "Clob" found a home in the Dybbuk Press anthology, Teddy Bear Cannibal Massacre. It was, I fear, a bit of a misfit in a book marketed as horror. The sequel is still online in the tqrstories.com archives, along with "The Migrant" (the Hitler story you championed in vain at NFG). "When a Loop Becomes a Noose" (you've got a brilliant memory, Mick, I'd forgotten that title!) was published as "The Bridge" in Triangulation: End of Time anthology, and the world serpent story is slated to appear in Worlds Apart magazine . . . eventually.

CM: Just a quickie: your work reminds me of Monte Davis, whose too-thin debut collection The Machine Man Letters earned itself a treasured spot amongst the best books I read in 2007. Are you familiar with Monte and his madcap modern fantasy work?

MS: No, but if it's good enough for you I'd better seek him out.

Editorial Note: Monte Davis is a National Treasure!

CM: Both Gerard Brennan and your good self are published by Baysgarth Publications. Tell us about your road to print.

MS: I had a story published in an anthology edited by one Christopher J. Hall. When my contributor copies arrived I was pretty surprised to find a shipload of typos (this was after he'd challenged anyone to find a single error) so I contacted Chris and asked if he'd like me to list them on foolscap. Anyway, I ended up co-editing his second project, a horror/crime antho called Badass Horror. Gerard Brennan's "Pool Sharks" was my first editorial job. Fast forward a year or two and Chris is setting up a micro-publishing company called Baysgarth Publications, and would I consider subbing a collection of my short stories? I thought I was going to be the first Baysgarth collection but the Brennan's Possession, Obsession and a Diesel Compression Engine came out of nowhere and stole my thunder, the sneaky fecker.

CM: Does your process involve detailed editing or are you a first-draft, second-pass, off to the press sort of scribe?

MS: I'm as far removed from the "first-draft, second pass, off it goes" approach to writing as is possible. I experiment, tinker, fiddle and play around with words like you wouldn't believe. It makes for slow going. I envy writers who can bang out more than 1k words a day.

CM: Do you have any strong feelings on Olympic racewalking, by any chance?

MS: What?! Where did this come from? Heh, funnily enough, I was walking my daughter to school yesterday and we had to move over to let an old guy in a luminous tracksuit come hip-swinging by. Heather pointed at his wildly oscillating buttocks and I clamped a hand over her mouth in case he heard whatever it was she was about to say. Seven-year-olds don't know the meaning of the word ‘tact'.

CM: What's your opinion on the new technologies like Internet communities, podcasting, blogging, webzines?

MS: Fantastic. For someone like me, with a handicap that prevents me from getting out and about as freely as I'd like, Internet communities are not just a boon, they're essential. I adore Live Journal, and I place a high value on the friendships I've forged on there. That might sound a bit sappy but it's the truth. Some of the other networking sites, such as myspace and Facebook, seem to be more about self-publicity and less about communicating, or am I missing something?

MS: Podcasting, when it's done well, can be brilliant. Escape Pod, Pseudopod, sites of that ilk... they're taking short fiction to a large audience and that's got to be a good thing.

CM: Do you read self published books or stick to the mainstream?

MS: As a rule, I've only read mainstream published books in the past, but a friend named Joel Sutherland recently gave me a copy of an anthology he and his wife edited, called Fried! Now bear in mind that when they put a call out for submissions they were going to self-publish and weren't offering payment, and yet I've read this collection of horror stories with a fast food theme alongside a HarperCollins anthology called Gathering the Bones . . . You'd think I'd find the small-press antho lacking, wouldn't you, flailing in the shadow of its big-hitting rival? Not so. I was impressed and entertained by most of the stories in Fried! The hit / miss ratio was on a par with the professional book. I'm not sure what this means. Are pro authors just a bunch of jammy bastards who caught the eye of the big publishers, or do I lack the critical faculties to discern the difference?

MS: I think the crucial difference between self published and all other forms is that with the latter someone selected the stories. I wouldn't read a self published book unless the contents had been published before in paying markets, or the author or editor was someone who I felt had completed their apprenticeship.

CM: What's the most recent book you've come across that that's left you dizzy and made you go, "Damn!"

MS: Colin Bateman's Murphy's Law impressed me. I reviewed it on Crime Scene Northern Ireland. Last year I read the third book in George R. R. Martin's Song of Ice and Fire series and whoa, it was awesome. Most recently I read a short story (working title: "Hard Rock") by that Gerard Brennan character. It startled and impressed me with its sheer unblinking ballsiness.

CM: Album?

MS: Hey Ma by James.

CM: Have we read any of the same shtuff? (Critical Mick Full alphabetic index) Was my review way off about them?

MS: I've read most of Carl Hiaasen's books and your appraisal of Stormy Weather is pretty close to mine. I've yet to read Bateman's Murphy's Revenge but I'd be very surprised if I didn't like it. Divorcing Jack, I thought, was good but not great. I wasn't as taken with Harlan Coben's No Second Chance as you were, and though I've read books by Val McDermid and Mark Billingham I was not enamoured of either. I agree wholeheartedly with your assessment of Robert Rankin's Hollow Chocolate Bunnies of the Apocalypse and mourn the fact that it was the last Rankin book I really enjoyed. I noticed there was no Graham Joyce. Can I urge you to beg / borrow / steal a copy of The Tooth Fairy?

Editorial Note: Consider it added to my TBR stack.

CM: What project are you working on now?

MS: A sequel to a YA fantasy novel I wrote last year called Heather Berry and the Battle for Turner's Wood.

CM: What project must you complete as your life's work?

MS: I'd like to write a series of Heather Berry novels and get them published.

CM: What's on your nightstand at the moment? (books, I mean, but other items if you wanna….)

MS: David Gemmell's Troy: Fall of Kings. Sadly it's been there several weeks. I'm struggling. I've always enjoyed David's books but the Troy series lost momentum halfway through the second book.

CM: Michael Stone, thank you for the conversation! The Fourtold review will be posted shortly. And with its energy, character, humor and originality, Fourtold can merit a very favorable review. I can even include mention of a much-loved Bruce Willis film... all for a small price.

MS: Let me think about it for just a second.

MS: (Turns to moon Critical Mick with all he's got)

Best of luck to Michael Stone!!

Unless you are the Devil, you may follow Michael Stone's rapidly-ascending career at www.mylefteye.net.

Yo! This interview transcript and all content on the DFA Guide site are copyright 2008 Mick Halpin. All links to other sites and documents are copyright to whatever source wrote something cool enough for Mick to give it a referral. Try to claim them as your own work and bad karma will catch up with you, baby. Believe it.

Irate, huh? Managed to piss off another one? Direct your hatemail to mick @ mickhalpin dot com.

This Page Was Last Updated On 22 April, 2008.