Critical Mick

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Operating Instructions: A Journal of My Son's First Year Conor rocks! .mp3 (2.8 MB)
by Anne Lamott
Random House, 1993

Silly Adults!

Critical Mick is away devoting time to a secret project. Junior Editor extraordinaire Conor Halpin (born September 2006) is gladly filling in.

My Da is this big tall guy who says a load of goo goo ga ga and only ever reads Irish crime fiction. John Connolly, Ken Bruin, Declan Hughes, Declan Burke. When cool Auntie Shane gave him a book by this enormous lady named Anne Lamott, called Operating Instructions: A Journal of my Son's First Year, Da put on that look he gets whenever he's covered with baby puke.

I really shouldn't judge, because for a long time I myself was like that. I had milk for every meal. But then I branched out. Creamed porridge. Beef and sweet potato. At first new things look a bit dodgy, you dip a thumb in and they might not taste like something you'd like. But once you experiment, get discovering- that stuff is great, Daddio!

So I made sure that I cried all the time, month after month. Silly Daddy! I'd do this for no other reason than to leave him no stretch of free time longer than two or three minutes. That's exactly the amount it takes to sample a few random Lamott entries. Some days she wrote a lot, some nothing at all. Mostly her journal is short little jottings like:

It's all supposed to be about her little baby, Sam, but that Lamott lady sure spent a lot of time talking about Jesus and George Bush. She keeps whinging, too, that she doesn't have any money. Silly Anne Lamott! I don't have any money and I'm happy as can be. The book also covers kitties, cupcakes and Mama Lamott's big best friend Pammy, who discovers she has something called cancer.

All my life, Da has kept setting aside his Irish Crime to dip in and compare how I'm doing with Sam. Sam apparently smells like God, which is a hell of a high standard for me to live up to.

Lamott talks about what heartfelt changes she feels happening within herself thanks to Sam. Duh! Of course we babies bring joy. Big bouncing bundles of it! That's our job. Upsy Daisy is as profound In the Night Garden and all she says is "Daisy do!"

Da looked unimpressed in some passages, absorbed by others. In my opinion this book didn't have enough pictures. That Goodnight Harry one is full of fleecey sheep, fuzzy teddies, stuffed elephants and emelia foxes. Goodnight Harry is a good read, and it's fun to watch how time after time Da will crawl under my crib whenever I chuck it over the side.

Naptime! So in conclusion, I wish the book would have had more about Sam in it. It's just not right, I tell you, when adults are giving attention to anything other than the baby.

Conman says: Operating Instructions. HA! A book that tells mommies and daddies what to expect from ME? Big people are so weird!

I've just got to add, here: this book is great to chew. I've chewed the best of them, but there's nothing quite as yieldingly soft on tender new teeth as a Lamott.

An interesting Anne Lamott interview....

Yo! This review and all content on the DFA Guide site are copyright 2007 Mick Halpin. All links to other sites and documents are copyright to whatever source wrote something cool enough for Mick to give it a referral. Try to claim them as your own work and bad karma will catch up with you, baby. Believe it.

Irate, huh? Managed to piss off another one? Direct your hatemail to mick @ mickhalpin dot com.

This Page Was Last Updated On 23 September, 2007.