True History of the Kelly Gang
Peter Carey
Faber and Faber Ltd , 2002
Interview with the Commas
True history, huh?
We'll see about that. Me and my Ouija Board.
Critical Mick: In the name of the grave and constant, I call Ned Kelly. By the dust of the bush, in the shade of the shamrock, bring forth his spirit!
Ouija Board: , , , , ,
CM: By your Irish heritage, Ned Kelly, I call from Dublin's once-rich Pale.
OB:, , , , ,
CM: Ned Kelly, get your adjectival arse out here and let me know if Carey pegged it right!
OB:
CM: Ya b-----d, then! OK, at least let me know this. Is The True History of the Kelly Gang accurate about Ned's mother? Is it just me, or was there some disturbingly Oedipal theme there? Gimme a comma or two if ol' Ned Kelly was more disturbed than appeared on the surface.
OB:, , , , , , ,
CM: Ah ha! I knew it, Ned. The narration seemed too simple, too lightweight, to be taken at face value! This sucker was awarded the Booker Prize. Am I right, there's a whole other level to Ned Kelly, if lines are read between?
OB:, , , , ,
CM: Like punk rock legends Green Day, I am an American Idiot. I missed many of the things that an Aussie would have snagged. Lesleigh Force, where are ya when I need ye?
OB: , , , ,
CM: Too bloody right, Ned! Right. Where was I? Ah. Yes, this underpunctuated tome was a good read, all right, and explored inequality and colonial injustice worthy well. But to me, a rare, friendly copper was a rare, friendly copper. The exception that proves the rule. If there was often a deeper meaning that should have been delivered, it was lost on me.
OB:
CM: There were interesting elements. The method by which the novel was divided into parcels was innovative, though I felt it gave away twists and developments that would have taken me- a cove unfamiliar with the Kelly legend- by surprise.
OB:
CM: The bank robberies were cool, if long delayed.
OB: , , , , , , , ,
CM: Steve Hart was a keen character. And Mary told a fascinating story, based on Steve's cross-dressing.
OB: Oi! There werent never no Mary. Entirely invented by some dirty wombat!
CM: Ned Kelly! Is that you?
OB: No this aint no adjectival Ned Kelly! Harry Power here. Neds eff-ing ghost has already has his own say. Nows my fair due.
CM: Harry Power-! I was just about to get to you! You're one of the most interesting figures in Mr. Carey's novel.
OB: I expect youre meaning The True History of the Kelly Gang. Ive know dingoes that were truer cobbers. There werent no Mary and my name werent in truth Harry Power. I was born Henry Johnstone in County Waterford, in Ireland!
CM: Way-hey! But coast a mo. If you could communicate through this Ouija Board, why all the commas through the start of our conversation?
OB: Why, I was just trying to return some of the punctuation missing from Careys adjectival Booker-award winning novel! If Im in it, I want it read by as many squatters as I can round up. If its a lack of commas thats driving them off-
CM: Ah, you never did rob from the poor! You were a true Robin Hood, Harry Power. Well done for returning commas to their rightful place.
OB: Oi! And don’t let me hear you disparaging the mother of that murderous squirt, Ned Kelly. A beautiful woman she was, and put up with her share of eff-ing b------ds without the likes of you wondering if she was bleeding oi-depetal.
CM: Sorry!
OB: Ya poofter.
CM: I said sorry, already!
OB: That Peter Carey? I've been from Jerilderie to Stringy Bark Creek, from Pentridge Gaol to the Wombat Ranges and Ive never seen a glass church floating through the Outback.
CM: But did he capture Ned’s character and motivation? You knew Ned Kelly.
OB: Kellys the little coward that dobbed me in. The constabulary wouldve never caught up with ol Harry Power if not for that murderous s---.
CM: Oh my! You seem quite angry.
OB: Too bleeding right! I never killed any man. I never robbed from the poor. Wheres my intenational fame? Whens Yahoo Serious going to make a Harry Power movie?
CM: You want Yahoo to make a movie about you?
OB: Rippin.
CM: Serious?
OB: Youre giving me a right pain, Critical Mick. Augh! Me bowels! Time for me to find me way back into the almighty bush.
CM: Well it’s been nice spending time with you. It was nice spending time with all the characters in Peter Carey’s novel, actually. They really came to life.
OB: Didnt deserve to nab the Booker, though. Carey mustve bailed up them magistrates.
CM: But Atonement was crap. Couldn’t finish it.
OB (fading): One last thing! That Harry Potter? Now theres a bushranging robber. The wee leveller nicked me adjectival name!
Life-altering truth? Or the invention of a mad imagination, grounded on a few known facts? To steal a line from Rod Sterling, you decide.
Critical Mick says: four commas out of five.
Peter Carey will never notice this Critical Mick interview with notorious bushranger Harry Power. He is too busy on his couch in New York, drinking imported Victoria Bitter and watching Friends.
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