The Hollow Chocolate Bunnies of the Apocalypse
by Robert Rankin
Gollancz, 2003www.sproutlore.com
Big Box Fella Comes... And Not to Assemble a Shrek Knock-Off
It must be the interview with the mammoth and Ovenmitt, the eleven lies, the time-travelling book review with zombies, or the time I tried to stalk my way into the BBC. Fellow book fans have been telling me for years, "Mick, a literary idiot like you will LOVE Robert Rankin."
I generally prefer books on Irish crime, but found the title The Hollow Chocolate Bunnies of the Apocalypse irresistible. Into my basket went Rankin's 24th novel. Time to find out if all those recommendations were right.
Much like a real hollow chocolate bunny, I tried to devour The Hollow Chocolate Bunnies of the Apocalypse (Henceforth abbreviated THC BOTA.) a piece at a time. Candy and comedy are best appreciated that way. But there were days that I couldn't resist just reading on. Rankin has created not just a silly book, but a valid mystery: likable detectives exploring a society from its rich to its poor, good guys, bad guys, betrayals and twists, fights and car chases. This mystery does take place against a surreal setting, but Rankin writes a new spin on serial killer crime as effectively as Laura Lippman.
THC BOTA begins with a young lad named Jack making his way to the city to seek his fortune. Early encounters in which this catless Dick Whittington overcomes fairy-tale adversity failed to charm me. This ride felt like Shrek's coattails.
But when Jack reaches the city, panicked and baffled to find that it is chiefly populated by living toys, Rankin delivers an interesting and original landscape in which our young hero can swiftly get mugged. Toy City contains figures like Little Boy Blue, Old King Cole and Little Tommy Tucker: these nursery rhyme characters (or, Preadolescent Poetic Personalities as they prefer to be known) are rich celebrities living off the royalties their stories continue to earn. There is actual social consciousness here, meaning instilled into elements usually dismissed. At one stage it is stated that nursery rhymes were originally composed as hymns. The vast majority of the city's population- clockwork firemen, wooden puppets, dollies- view these elevated figures only on Miss Muffet's popular television show, The Tuffet as they go about their drudgery of their lives. Everything changes when someone knocks off Humpty Dumpty.
A raggedy teddy bear named Eddie is on the case. He awakens the lad, explains to Jack that his stolen horse is already diner food in all likelihood, and then reasons that large quantities of beer will help the boy get accustomed to the notion of living toys. The colorful pair become bestest mates, followed by a lot of vomiting. Eddie, in the absence of the famous detective with whom he usually works, needs Jack to pursue the case (no opposable thumbs- can't drive Bill Winkie's car to the crime scene without opposable thumbs).
THC BOTA is more than a place where Rankin spewed some of his madness. As it spins new meanings from well-worn tales, it also plays with the equally tired/tried-and-true formula of mystery thrillers. Jack and Eddie reckon throughout the novel that if their case was a thriller, then such-and-such a dramatic twist is bound to happen. It does. The pair even acquire a literal "MacGuffin."
Though at times self-indulgent, Rankin's writing steadily involves the interest and builds real tension, notch by notch. Gradually the nature of Toy City is revealed- a Shrek knock-off it is not!- and the identity of the villain and stakes in the struggle keep surprises coming. THC BOTA is truly a cleverly crafted crime thriller, as intelligent as it is enjoyable. This novel is closer to Michael Chabon's 2007 The Yiddish Policemen's Union than to British works of pure-comedy like Douglas Adams's. Both are based in imaginary yet readily imainable worlds, exploring what wrongdoing would happen in this land of What If.
I am a Midnight Growler Grrr Gr Grrrrrrrrr
Critical Mick echoes: Something already well-known to those who know it well…. Robert Rankin deserves attention. I recommend him and his novel THC BOTA, though I do so without calling you weird.
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